I’m Highly ‘Experienced’: Why Men Slut-Shame Sexually Experienced Women
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I’m Highly ‘Experienced’: Why Men Slut-Shame Sexually Experienced Women

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Ayala Saunders
3 min read

I’m Highly ‘Experienced’: Why Men Slut-Shame Sexually Experienced Women

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Being sexually active and experienced is every woman’s right, just as much as it’s any man’s right. If a man is slut-shaming you for living your life, discovering yourself, and being open with what you want, just walk away.

I would never lie about my many experiences in the sack. In fact, I’m proud of them all. Just one generation ago, it was extremely taboo for women to be sexually experienced. Yes, the sixties brought us a generation of sexual expression, but it was essentially just a small group of people who paved the way. Now in 2016, it’s the new norm for women to wait until they are in their 30s or 40s to settle down, while spending their entire 20s sexually experimenting. So why is it, with as far as we’ve come, that men are still slut-shaming women who are sexually very active? The answer is simple – it comes down to plain, old-fashioned insecurity.

A while ago, I had a conversation with a friend of mine in Israel, a woman who, after listening to my sexcapades informed me that I shouldn’t be so open and that I need to “pretend to be a virgin” to get men to respect me. My response was simply, “The type of man I’d want to be with wouldn’t care if I’ve slept with an entire army”. Why would I want to be with someone who doesn’t respect the sexual choices I’ve made? After all, I’m always safe, and my sexual past is a part of who I am.

50 years ago, men held all the cards. A sexual monopoly, so to speak. Men got to do whatever they wanted, while women stayed at home, protecting their virginities until marriage. It took a long time for women to realise how unbalanced and unnatural this is. The more time passed, the more women realised that they too have sexual needs, and that it only seems fair to be able to explore them as well. However, insecure men cannot handle this. Experienced women only make them feel inadequate.  What was once a thriving ego trip has turned into a massive letdown for men. After all, a woman with more sexual experience means that a man needs to try harder. That 14 seconds of rapid pounding is no longer acceptable. Women want passion now. Women want to experience everything, and learn what they like. This usually means racking up more partners. For a man, knowing he has to compete with (for example) 40 other men who previously took that trip down the rabbit hole causes nothing but sheer anxiety. He knows he probably won’t be the best she’s ever had. We all know most men HAVE to be the best at everything they do. Therefore, instead of just accepting the experience of women, they slut-shame them, and call them “trashy”, “whores”, “sluts”, or “dirty”. This is nothing but a cheap reflection on their own inadequacies, and has absolutely nothing to do with women. In addition, if a woman isn’t satisfied with her partner, he will also blame her.  After all, it MUST be her fault that he only lasted for a minute and avoided all the foreplay, right? WRONG.

Being sexually active and experienced is every woman’s right, just as much as it’s any man’s right.  If a man is slut-shaming you for living your life, discovering yourself, and being open with what you want, just walk away. Be yourself, and find someone who loves and respects everything about you, including your wild side. Trust me, men like this DO exist.

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