Things You Didn't Know About Masturbation
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Things You Didn't Know About Masturbation

Lakshmi Devan
3 min read

Things You Didn't Know About Masturbation

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Now, I know we all have our own style and technique, but everyone can use some inspiration once in a while. Thank me later!

“A little to the left…no right…keep going...yeah. Yes! No. No. No. Ouch.”

Sometimes, I feel too lazy for all the constant communication, fondling, pleasing, sucking, and thrusting. As much as I love sex, I have to admit that it takes a lot of energy. With masturbation, on the other hand, the ball is entirely in your court (pun very much intended).

Masturbation is called master-bation for the very reason that you, and you alone are the master of your own body. I think it’s the only form of yoga I practice, where you’re in sync with your body, facing an inner turmoil that will soon follow absolute calm, sometimes holding your body in weird positions – all for that one thing. And like yoga, you’re supposed to end it with O(rgas)M.

When I was 16, I met my soulmate. He was selfless and gave himself to me without thinking. He always did as was asked of him. He was perfect…just perfect.

Want to meet him? Say hello to my index finger.

Through my index finger, I discovered the clitoris I never even knew I had, the labia majora and minora (fleshy outer and inner folds of the vulva), and take a bow – the vagina. Now, of course there is so much more to masturbation than there was then, that has come to me with time – imagination, good experiments…and bad. But this isn’t about me, a particular finger, or any specific genitalia. Masturbation is for everyone, irrespective of how you identify yourself.

So, just as an inspiration to those who haven’t started yet, and as a guide to upgrading from your old techniques, here are a few ways you could masturbate that you never thought of. These should blow your mind once you try them:

For the ladies:
  • Place the middle and ring finger on the outside and supporting both sides of your clitoris. While gently gripping your clitoris in this way, use the fingers of your other hand to stroke it. Vary the pressure and speed, but don’t go too fast. Remember, it’s your me-time. Take your time, and use candles or music to set the mood and rhythm if you’d like.
  • This technique actually simulates having sex, so it can be very erotic. Lie down on your bed with your legs spread, knees up, and feet flat on the bed. Use your middle finger, or index and middle finger both, to penetrate your vagina exactly how a penis would. As your finger enters, contract your leg muscles in a smooth but passionate manner so that your pelvis pulses in a rhythm to your finger. The emphasis should be on your pelvic push instead of the finger action, the emphasis is on you and your erotic fantasies. This one comes with recommendation.

For the gentlemen:

Note** I understand that masturbation for uncircumcised and circumcised men can quite different, but these techniques are relevant to both.
  • Twist your lubed-up hand so that your thumb is against your belly button. Wrap your hand around your penis, and rather than stroke with your hand, move your pelvis to pump in and out of your hand, imitating penetration. I am not a man, but I know it feels oh-so-good!
  • Cover both your hands with lube (better safe than sore), and form a ring with your thumb and forefinger. Place it around the base of your penis and slide the ring up to the head (of the penis. Just being safe. There are all kinds of people). Now form a ring with the fingers on your other hand and do the same thing. Keep stroking with one ring at a time until you climax. This is going to be a lot of fun.
I’m now going to be heading into my masturbation laboratory, masturboratory, for further experiments. I promise to return with words of further wisdom and erotic techniques.

See you later, masturbator!

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