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5 Tips To Control Anger In A Relationship

Lakshmi Devan
3 min read

5 Tips To Control Anger In A Relationship

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Anger is a very normal human emotion that unfortunately can be misdirected towards wrong people at the wrong time, often our most loved ones.

Yikes! It is one thing to have a passionate relationship with intense emotions and another thing to have an emotionally abusive one – with constant screaming and emotional and mental assault of your partner.

More times than not, the person with anger issues is as helpless, as the recipient of all the abuse. Well, fret not thyself, for as long as you realise the problem and have a will to change, we can help you make it happen.

On that determined note, here are 5 tips to control anger in a relationship:

  1. Sleep and eat on time: Stay a step ahead of your anger, if you really want the beast to stay tame. Sometimes hunger turns to anger and sleeplessness makes you grumpier and more irate than usual. Study your anger patterns and you will realise that small things like these can bring a lot of improvement to your flaming hot temper.

2. Realise that “catharsis” does not work: The catharsis myth hypothesises that venting in the form of aggressive behaviour – throwing things, shouting, or hitting – can release the anger and calm a person down. Unfortunately, catharsis proves to be counterproductive in most cases. According to a study by Bushman and colleagues (1999), catharsis “increases cardiovascular disease risk and the likelihood that you will become aggressive toward those around you, including innocent bystanders.”

3. Take deep-as-hell breaths: That’s right. While situations of anxiety need you to take deep breaths, situations of anger need deep-as-hell breaths. These breaths aren’t often as tranquil, as deep breaths are. Deep-as-hell breaths are long, deep breaths that involve filling up your chest with air and letting it out with force through a shushing sound…till you begin to feel calm. 5 of these deep-as-hell breaths can tranquilise a woolly mammoth; your anger is nothing!

4. Take a different approach: Anger clouds our judgement and rational thinking, making us do things we end up regretting later. Therefore, next time you have an argument with your partner, instead of throwing things or the alternative – walking away, take a deep-as-hell breath and tell your partner that you need a few minutes to calm down. Be candid. Assure them that you love them and want to work through the issue with a clear mind. They will surely understand.

Anger is often portrayed in negative light. A lot of people seem to believe anger to be a feeling that humans aren’t supposed to feel altogether, let alone act on. But, in truth, there are situations when anger is a justified reaction. For instance, if you or someone you love gets treated unfairly or is wronged, then anger is the correct response in the situation. Don’t believe anyone who says otherwise.

But remember - having a short temper isn’t a problem. It is what you do when you lose that temper that’s often destructive. Learn to predict, prevent, and preen that anger into something more productive.

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